Ready to scream...or cry

I am so miserable!!!!

I have eight weeks left and that might as well be eight months.  I am so uncomfortable, my belly is so huge I really don't think it can stretch anymore...seriously.  I am really sore and this baby is so heavy, it's painful to walk.  Occasionally when I get up in the night, I can really feel it in my back and I wonder if my spine is gonna give, it really feels like it could just break.  It hurts so bad!

I have a bad feeling that I'm gonna be put on bed rest pretty soon and that makes me very unhappy.  I don't even want to talk about our apartment...but I will anyway.  It's a mess.  A horrible mess.  I don't have the energy to pick up after Tobi, and frankly I just can't bend over anymore either so if it's on the floor it's staying there.  I am bored out of my mind with my meals.  The only variety I get is with dinner so I really look forward to that, but breakfast and lunch seriously sucks.  I have a hard time finding low-carb choices that I like so I pretty much eat the same things every day for breakfast and lunch.  I hate checking my blood sugar so often and I hate my insulin shots.  I've had to stop taking Tobi out on our play dates and I don't leave the apartment anymore unless I absolutely have to.  It's difficult for me to herd Tobi around, and it's getting hard for me to even drive.

And did I mention I have eight weeks left?  Eight.  Long.  Miserable.  Weeks.

Buttons

Anytime Tobi gets his own drink from the gas station, or Sonic, he LOVES to push all the buttons down.  He got a slushie the other day during happy hour, my favorite, and I could hear him in the back seat pushing the buttons down.  When we got home I grabbed his cup to help him out and this is what it looked like....

...I couldn't stop laughing, he's such a funny kid!

Baby blankets

I LOVE baby blankets and I love them even more when they are homemade.  Jordan brought home a set of blankets that Grandma Bourne made for Gray and they are SOOO cute.  On two of them she found the cutest vintage fabric, which I LOVE, and the third one is a safari animal one which Tobi stole.  I let him snuggle it for now but when Gray gets here he's going to have to share ha ha.  He seriously went nuts over this blanket, shouted "animals!" and then took off with it and has been attached to it ever since.  Then Aunt Cindi sent the cutest Poky Little Puppy book that matches the blankets.....CUTE!!!!!  I love them and I was so surprised to get them when Jordan came home.

Thanks Grandma Bourne and Aunt Cindi...you're the best!  And big thanks to Grandpa Bourne too!

Tobi's Buzz

I was at my parents house this weekend working on the crib, and decided to see if Chace would buzz Tobi's head.  His hair grows SO fast and we just got him a hair cut about four weeks ago.  It's so hot outside I figured he'd feel better if we just buzzed it.  So we stripped him down and had Uncle Chace go to work.  Tobi was SO well behaved for Chace, aside from a few shivers from the tickles in certain spots, and I feel better now that it's done.  I was also really nervous he'd look goofy, but I think he looks adorable and I love it.  And at the rate his hair grows, I might just do a buzz from now on through the summer, we'll see.

Happy Five Years!

Jordan and I celebrated our FIVE year anniversary yesterday.  Holy smokes!  I'm so excited to be celebrating five fabulous years with Jordan and thanks to my super uncomfortable pregnancy right now, we kept our celebrating pretty low key this year.  My mom took Tobi so Jordan and I went to see Spiderman and grabbed lunch.  The movie was great and it was nice for us to get out, just the two of us.

I can't believe it's already been five years!

August Desktop

I got my August desktop and the picture might look familiar, but I LOVE this picture of Tobi, so I'm using it!  He's such a silly little boy and I love to see that cute face when I open up my laptop.  I'm glad we've finally hit August because it means I'm that much closer to having this baby and being comfortable in my body again.  We also have some fun August birthdays and it's our last chance to live it up for summer activities before September gets here, woot!

Diabetes update

I started my insulin shots about a week ago and yesterday I met with my dietician to go over my numbers.  Aside from an adjustment made for breakfast, my numbers looked great and they said I'm doing a wonderful job.  It's so good to hear that and I do feel like I'm handling this better than I did with Tobi's pregnancy.  At least for now ha ha.  I also had my first ultrasound with Maternal Fetal Medicine, they'll be watching me pretty closely for the rest of my pregnancy because of the diabetes.  The doctor I saw was so great and while I was overwhelmed and disappointed when I left, I felt like she did a great job keeping me calm and comfortable.

She told me that Grayson is already a little on the chubby side, so definitely very healthy but...I will definitely be having another c-section.  Having already done that, I know what to expect and I'm okay with that, part of me though is still a little sad that I will not get to experience "natural" childbirth.  They also told me that they're wondering if this time around it's not gestational, but type 2 diabetes.  They said after I have the baby, they'll test me and if that's the case I can control it with diet and pills.  That was a huge relief for me because while I'm handling the insulin shots now, I don't know if I could do it for the rest of my life.  Jordan and I both want to continue dieting anyway after Grayson arrives, so we're not bummed at all about that.  She also told me that even if my weight were under control and I were healthier, I could still be a diabetic.  It's just in my genes.

She also told me that we can pretty much count on having the gestational diabetes with insulin for all future pregnancies.

Yikes.

So Jordan and I definitely have a lot to talk about.  I'm feeling like I really don't want to have any more babies, I'm really okay having two awesome boys.  I'm not one of those women that breezes through my pregnancies and it's only going to get harder as I get older.

They set me up for my NST's through the month of August and said that they would schedule a c-section for me at 39 weeks and just do their best to get me there.  Oh...and they took MORE blood from me...I swear if I have to do another blood test........