We meet again

I was tested this week for gestational diabetes and my test came back high.  I have to go in next week to do their three hour test, which really didn't go well the last time around so I'm really nervous.  Even though I told myself I would have it and I tried to prepare, I still cried for most of the day yesterday.  And then I keep wondering if this is happening to me because I'm overweight and I feel even more frustrated and angry at myself.  My weight played a part in my depression last year and I had been to my doctor and a therapist trying to help myself with the cravings I get.  It's not an easy thing and self loathing is no stranger to my life, even now.  I cannot stand to see pictures of me, I try not to post them or even have them taken to begin with unless I have to.  I keep telling myself it will be easier when the baby gets here, I'll have more energy and I can get a better exercise routine in place.  I started prenatal water aerobics last night and I had a lot of fun, but I left feeling really sick, which is usually what happens when I try to exercise when I'm pregnant.  For some reason it really gets my acid reflux going and I end up puking.  I'm going to keep going though, because I really need the exercise and I do enjoy being in the water.

Fireworks

After going to the temple grounds last year to watch the fireworks and having so much fun, Jordan and I decided to make that tradition and we've really been looking forward to it this year.  We even invited Adam and Shannon to come along and we're so glad we did.  We got there at about 8:00pm this year and it was perfect, the sun was just going down so the whole field was shaded and we got a great spot on the grass.  We picked up a couple bags of cotton candy which Tobi was SUPER excited about and chowed on.  We also had glow sticks and Adam bought the boys a couple of light saber swords that they went nuts over.  It was so fun to just sit and relax and let the boys run around and play.  Tobi got nice and wore out and we folded the seats down in our awesome wagon and fixed up a little bed for Tobi to lay on during the fireworks.

The firework show was awesome, I don't think I'll ever get tired of watching the big ones go off, I might have loved it more than Tobi!  Traffic was crazy when we left, but after having done it last year, we knew which way was the better way to go and it only took us thirty minutes to get home this year, not bad right!  Tobi went right to bed when we got home and Jordan and I were happy to do the same.  We had a great holiday and we're excited to do it again next year, only this time we'll have Tobi AND Grayson.

The Grand Parade

Right after the balloon launch, we loaded the kiddos back into the car and went to the parade route to watch the guys run by.  Jordan and Adam have been planning to run for months and they were really excited.  Unfortunately, it took us too long to get to the parade spot and we missed them...huge bummer...but we saw them after and though they were exhausted, they both felt pretty good about it.  We are super proud of both of them!

We staked out our spot in the shade (thank goodness, it was hot!) and I had some really cute little goodie bags for the kids to keep them occupied while we waited.  I filled them with some treats, Pop-Its and bubbles and they were pretty excited to go through everything.  They especially loved the Pop-Its, they didn't even care when the police motorcycles went by, they were having too much fun stomping!

Once the parade started we had fun and Tobi enjoyed it, but he was getting fussy from getting up so early and the heat, so we were pretty glad when the parade ended and it was time to pack up and go.  Tobi passed out in the back seat right away, poor guy, and when we got home we ALL went down for much needed naps ha ha!

Balloon Launch!

Well...we got ourselves up at the butt crack of dawn yesterday so the boys could watch the balloons fill up and launch and while it was really hard to get up so early...it was so worth it.  Tobi and Kayson both thought it was so cool and they LOVED watching the balloons.  I love doing things like this with Tobi, even if it's hard, because he gets so much enjoyment out of it.  Seeing him that excited and that happy just makes my day.  I'm so proud to be his mom and I am so grateful that at 26 weeks pregnant, I can still muster up the energy to do these things with him.  I really hope that never changes.  Shannon commandeered my camera for me, which was actually kind of nice ha ha because I actually got some pictures of me (I can't decide yet if that's really a good thing or not) which doesn't usually happen since I'm the one behind the camera all the time.  I had a lot of people admire and comment on our new wagon which was nice, I've been so excited and saved for months so we could buy that thing!  It didn't take us long at all to get parking so that was a relief and it was really neat when all the balloons started to take off.

Jordan's family BBQ

Jordan and I both were stressing SO BAD about this bbq and we are so happy to have survived it.  We know that his grandparents bbq on the fourth every year and with things being so hard with some of the family right now, we really struggled with the decision to go.  Plus, we had plans with friends for fireworks so we knew we couldn't stay the whole time either.  It's really hard because part of us wanted to skip it so we didn't have to deal with the stress, but then other people in the family are hurt because they don't get to see us.  So our options were to go and be super uncomfortable, or not go and hurt people in the family.  We decided we would go because it was more important to me that Tobi get to see his grandparents and cousins and we could just deal with the awkwardness for a couple hours.  We also decided that we would do our best to be happy and friendly no matter what.  We decided we would smile and be nice and just let it go, have a good time.

Cindi was SUPER cute with Tobi and even though she is still recovering from her surgery, she took Tobi on a small chicken hunt to find Cluck-cluck in the back yard.  I am so grateful for the attention she gives to the kiddos and how much she loves them, she's such a sweet Auntie.  I had a lot of fun visiting with Tanya and Nedra, who both look AMAZING!  They've been working out and dieting and the benefits are really showing!  We're so proud of them and the wonderful example they've set for the rest of us in the family.  And of course it was a joy as always to see Grandma and Grandpa Bourne.  They have the biggest hearts and I am glad we got to visit with them yesterday.  Tobi was super excited to see his Grandma Fleming and Grandpa Leavitt and was so excited to play with the other kids, especially Noah.  Sean was still really nice to all three of us and I was glad for that.  He and Jayson did a wonderful job on the meat, as usual...the food was great!

We had a great time and genuinely felt bad when we had to leave early for our firework plans.  Jordan and I both were SO relieved to have not only survived it, but to have had fun as well.

Payslie's Second Birthday

We got to go to Payslie's birthday party the other night to celebrate her SECOND birthday, woohoo!  We LOVE birthday parties and this time Jordan got to come which was awesome for both me and Tobi.  He was so excited to have his daddy there and he had a blast playing in the water, and of course he got cake, his favorite!  My cousin went with a super cute "sweet" theme and had the cutest balloon suckers at the front of her yard and balloon candies on her porch.  She did a really cute sweet table where the kids could bag up some yummy candy to take home.  Payslie was so cute and we are so happy we got to share her special day with her!

Thanks Lindsay and BJ!  Happy SECOND birthday Payslie!!

JULY!

I am so excited that July has arrived because I have been dying all summer for the fourth of July to get here.  We had so much fun taking Tobi out last year that I've just really been looking forward to it this year.  Plus!  Moxtek is taking us to Lagoon this month too!  And on that note, here's the desktop!