Oh how I love thee...

I've been meaning to do this for a few weeks now and just haven't had the time. There are some people in my life who I may or may not have told how much I love and appreciate them. I'd like to take the opportunity to do so now.

1. The first is my wonderful husband, Jordan. You work so hard to make sure we can pay our bills and you've done so well at Moxtek so far. You're so supportive of everything I do and you're always there for me when I need you. You're so good with Jessa and so sweet and gentle with Tobi, you're the best husband a girl could ask for. I love you so much!
2. Next would be my mom and dad. You guys have been so caring and so helpful with Jordan and me. I'm so grateful that you have the room and the tolerance to let us live with you guys right now, especially since we have a new baby. The two of you are fantastic grandparents and Tobi is going to adore both of you, he's already so spoiled and so loved. Dad, I'm so grateful for your sound advice and for your goofy sense of humor. Mom, I'm so grateful for the talks we have when we're both feeling down and need a friend.
3. Brynn! I am SO thankful that we have you in our lives. You and Sean both have helped us to get through our hardest moments this past year and I can't thank you enough. You were there for me every step of the way through my pregnancy and I'm so happy to have finally made you an aunt. Thank you so much for your love and support.
4. Chace, you are the funniest kid and I'm so glad I have you to keep me smiling. You're going to be a rockstar uncle and I'm so proud that Tobi is going to have you in his life. I couldn't ask for a better brother.
5. Andrew, I'm so glad that you've found such a fabulous match in Bronwyn. She's a wonderful girl and we are all so excited for her to join the fam! I'm so grateful for the two of you keeping me company on the nights that Jordan had to work. The wii is so much more fun when you have someone else to play with.

Hasta la vista Bili

We got to call Intermountain Health Care today and tell them we were DONE with the evil bili lights. So exciting! Poor Tobi did not sleep well on them at all and by the third day we were at our wits end. We are so happy to be sending those lights out the door today! And even better, no more daily foot pokes at the hospital! Yay Tobi!

Tobias Wendim Leavitt...has arrived!

He makes me laugh so hard when he sleeps, he loves to stretch out (something he couldn't do in my belly) and gets the funniest expressions on his sweet little face.
Here he is with Auntie Brynn the day we got to take him home, this was her first time getting to hold him and I can tell he already adores her. :)

He latched onto Daddy's thumb the other night, this kid has quite a grip!

This is probably my favorite picture of him so far. Everytime I look at it I laugh, he's such a joy.

Tobi and Daddy (a very tired Daddy) right before bedtime.

As many of you know, and for those who may not know....I had my sweet baby boy on Friday, November 6th. He weighed 7lbs and 15oz, and measured at 181/2" long. I delivered via c-section which was scary but also very fun. We went in friday for my amnio and there wasn't enough fluid, so they went straight to induction. My body wasn't ready to have a baby and they gave me the choice of trying to go through a labor that could very well go through 36 hours, or I could have a c-section. We were worried about the fluid so Jordan and I decided it would be safer to go ahead with the c-section.

They let me eat breakfast that morning so we had to wait eight hours before doing the c-section which put me at 5:00pm and I was admitted around noon. Brynn and I relaxed while they did my IV and took my vitals, then when Jordan got there we watched You've Got Mail while we were waiting for 5:00 to arrive. 5:00 on the dot they came and took me back into their freezing cold OR. I had to curl in a ball on the table so they could inject my spinal and I had to hold very still which was hard. I was shaking all over my body from fear and cold. Once the spinal was in they helped me lay down and started putting up the curtain so I couldn't see. They gave me an oxygen mask to help me breath and then Jordan was brought in. I felt the pressure when they took Tobi out but other than that it was super quick and totally painless. I didn't have to do any work at all lol. Jordan went with Tobi down to the nursery while the doctors finished sewing me back up. I waited in recovery for an hour, where they told me Tobi had been moved to the NICU and hooked up to a c-pap machine to help strengthen his lungs. I was released on Monday night and Tuesday morning I was able to take my baby home. Walking out of that hospital monday night without my baby is by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

Being in the hospital and coming home to recover from my c-section made me so much more grateful for my fabulous husband. There is absolutely NO way I could have done it without him. He has been so helpful and so patient in dealing with my very crazy hormones. I couldn't have picked a better man to spend my life with and I'm so proud to have a baby boy that looks just like him. I love my husband so much and I'm so glad I made it through my pregnancy and delivery without serious complications. P.S....my blood sugar and Tobi's blood sugar are both stable and totally fine...HUGE relief.

The first day and night that we had Tobi was probably both the easiest and the hardest. It was easy because Tobi slept the whole day and night, waking up to eat and have his diaper changed. It was the hardest because Jordan and I both were terrified to fall asleep without someone watching him. I slept for about an hour total that night. The next night was a little harder because Tobi was a little bit fussier and being new parents, we didn't quite know how to handle it. Don't worry...we survived. Thursday I had to take Tobi to the hospital to have his biliruben checked. It was higher than desired and bilibed lights were delivered to our home within the hour. He did okay on the lights thursday night but friday night he was starting to be a lot fussier and I was exhausted to the point of tears. Luckily, we live with Grandma and Grandpa and they were happy to take over so that I could sleep and the rest of this weekend has gone by much easier. We went through two more biliruben checks and it looks like he's down to the low risk area and today should be the last day dealing with them (the doctor will touch base with us on that tomorrow).

It's very weird thinking of myself as a mom now and each day I become more confident and more comfortable with Tobi. I no longer jump at every little noise he makes and I'm comfortable sleeping now when he sleeps. He's already growing fast and changing in his looks, it's so crazy! It makes me want to take lots and lots of pics every day so that we don't miss anything. Especially Jordan, since he has to work and I don't. I want to make sure that Jordan is involved with EVERYTHING. He's such a proud papa and I can tell that he adores Tobi. He's so good about changing him and feeding him and he likes to sit and hold him before bedtime. It's good bonding time. It's crazy because I knew that I would love this little guy no matter what, but it's shocking how deep that love runs. There are no words. I look at him sometimes and I want to cry because I'm so completely happy. I'm so excited to watch him grow and read him stories. I'm excited to get to know his personality and see how that changes over time. He's already so spoiled and loved living at Grandma and Grandpa's house. I'm just glad that my family can see him and hold him now that he's out of the NICU. It was hard not being able to share him with the people I love most in my life right away, but the wait has definitely been worth it.

Are you ready?

I had another ultrasound last week and Tobi is doing great! He's starting to pack on the weight which makes me nervous but once he gets here...it will ALL be worth it. We're still finishing a few things in his nursery, hopefully that will be done by the end of the day today. Jordan (along with the rest of the fam) is finally getting his H1N1 today. We went to the health department yesterday and got our vouchers. Huge relief! My NSTs are still doing great. It makes me so grateful that I haven't had any serious problems so far with my diabetes. As far as they can tell Tobi is totally healthy AND happy.

As of last Tuesday he weighs 6lbs and 13oz. They took his measurements and he's averaging two weeks ahead (again...made me nervous) which mostly just made me laugh because my belly is still measuring right where it should be. At first I was confused because it seemed like my belly should measure big if he's measuring big, but after thinking about it a little more it made sense. I can feel that I carry Tobi more in my back than in my front, so it's very possible for him to be big and yet have my tummy measure right on track. As a result, I've decided not to put too much stock in the measurements. They're not worried that he's measuring bigger at this point because we have the amnio scheduled for Friday. As long as the pro's aren't worried....I'm not worried. Mostly, I want that amnio to come through with the lungs being mature. I'm so ready to have this baby!

I have his diaper bag all packed for the hospital so now I just need to pack my own. Any suggestions on what I should put in? Besides the obvious of course. :)

Maternity Pictures

Jordan and I got to have our pictures taken a few weeks ago and I LOVE them! They were done by Lulu Belle Photography and the photographer, Chelsea, is fantastic. I love her pictures and I've been so excited my whole pregnancy for her to take my pictures. If you're interested in having your pictures taken, her website can be found at http://www.lulubellephotography.blogspot.com/.

Thank you Chelsea, they turned out so great!

H1N1

I got my shot last week for the swine flu, I only had to wait in line for about thirty minutes (they were moving fast) which was a lot shorter than what I expected. I couldn't get there before my NST and I was so nervous they would be out already. It was weird being there with all the kids getting their shots, I haven't had a flu shot since I was a kid. It totally gave me flashbacks to tantrums, crying, begging, pleading....all of the above really. There was a couple with what looked to be a six year old getting her shot and they totally had to restrain her. She was fighting like crazy and screaming. There was another couple waiting in front of me with a little one year old who was starting to get fussy because of all the other kids freaking out. It was hilarious.

I'm glad I got my shot because everyone seems to be in a panic over the swine flu and I have to admit....it's starting to get to me. My doctors office has notes posted everywhere saying that patients are no longer allowed to bring their kids with them and at the hospital, you can only bring one person with you to NSTs and Ultrasounds (that one person being totally healthy of course). It got me thinking and now I'm worried that Jordan will be the only person allowed in delivery with me. We had planned on having both Brynn and my mom there and thanks to all this swine flu crap....I don't know if that will happen. I'll be great as long as my Jordan is there with me, I just really wanted to share the experience with the two other people I love most in this world.

I'm also nervous because I don't know if they'll be allowing visitors. Which is probably for the best, I don't want my Tobi exposed to anything before he even gets home, I'll just feel bad if we have family members that come from further away to see him just to find out they can't. It makes me scared for the whole winter season really. A month ago I was confident that I could take Tobi out with me a little as he gets bigger....but now I'm scared to leave the house at all and he's not even here yet! I'm nervous for the holidays and I don't want to be cooped up inside, but I can't risk the health of my sweet baby either. We'll just have to see how it goes I guess.

GOOD NEWS!

Greatest news ever!......well almost ha ha. I saw my doctor this week and I asked him about getting a temporary handicap parking pass. I have tickets to So You Think You Can Dance in SLC for November 7th and we were worried about parking and me having to walk far. The doctor kind of frowned and was like...."well, that's cutting it a little close so we'll have to play it by ear." I was a little disappointed but then it got so much better. He told me that my amnio is going to be scheduled at the beginning of that week and if the results come out positive for the lungs being developed........they're going to induce me that day!!!!!

AWESOME!

I am so ready to get this baby out of me ha ha. I'm so big and so uncomfortable and I want to see what he looks like so bad. We just painted his nursery (pics are coming soon) and I can't wait to be using it. I've been washing all of his things and getting everything ready. Everyone cross your fingers for me!